Are you able to correct your thought process?

Let's talk about when we put something behind us and assume we have moved on until something happens that takes us back there again. Over the last few months, there have been many reminders, forcing me to revisit a memory that had caused me pain. I wrote a piece during the 12 day war, which brought that memory back again and saying again and again, not again!

What is Grace?

Hey baby brother. 

I recalled the day you were born. It was just before the fall of 1980. 

I was standing on our patio waiting for Dad to come home and she was there.

I only came up to her shoulders back then.

Having only given birth to a baby who had recently died due to some unknown illness, I was surprised she had said yes.

Dad had decided to remove you from the hospital the moment you were born and take you to my Qoran teacher.

I wanted you to come home to us. I could not understand why Dad asked my teacher. 

As we stood there in silence I could hear a sound coming from the mosque loudspeakers. It was not the Azan. It was something I was not familiar with. I did not know back then it was called a Siren. 

I can still hear her saying" Oh no that means something bad is going to happen. Do you have a basement?

I promised your dad we would wait here until he returns"

I still remember that look on her face as she said

 " I wish I could take you next door. I am worried about my daughter but what if ....."

I had no idea what she meant or what was about to unfold.

That was the start of the 8 years.

Many sleepless nights as we waited patiently at 3 am under the stairs.

Waiting for it to pass, then that sigh of relief followed by feeling guilty as our survival meant lives were taken elsewhere. Trying to go back to sleep not knowing if my best friend had survived it. 

Our daily routine after school, involved queueing for Cupon food, sometimes potatoes to be found at the back of some van ( we called it Bazar Siah) back then. 

It was either that or making Salad Olivia with Rice. Yes, I even tried that once. Would you beleive it?

I thought I must give her a bell and check on her. So I reached for my phone and left her a message. I waited anxiously to hear back from her but unlike usual when she got back to me straight away with a VM, 

there was 

silence...

You know how impatient I can be? 

Thankfully, I recalled my chat with Prudence Uyungrwoth. The Footstool has needed a cover for a while. Why not make one out of Crochet?

Here is a video of me showing the result of my attempt. 

I must remember to thank Prudence for sharing her expertise and time and also bringing a few friends. 

There have been two others since.

PS: The next planned event for  Sister take my hand because i and you matter is planned for the week beginning the 17th of August.

You know what else I have been doing on Fridays?

Attending Jan's session at 2pm GMT where we spend an hour a week to reflect.

Todays session was about Generational Trauma, though the title was this.

And now I want to work on bringing an end to generational trauma, Why I want others to hear what Molly has to say.

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